Friday, March 31, 2006

couldn't resist adding this...


Friday, March 24, 2006

As to why birds don't fly upside down...

I'm not exactly sure. It's possible some do, perhaps at night or as a direct consequence of eating too many sweet-tasting berries. Then again, I'm certain they do. It's completely apparent. Think about it. People observed birds. They got the idea for flying machines. The flying machines flew crazed loop-de-loops at fun fairs and State occasions. A lot of thrill-seeking people were impressed and content. Others were unimpressed, namely with colored smoke and the non-provision of adequate seating. Nonetheless, the flying idea came from the birds, therefore they must or must have, flown upside down, at some point.

Now, I'm not saying you should take my word on this. I'm no expert. This much is also true. And besides, you don't even know me and if you did, you'd probably want to know why we hadn't met before.

Now as to when they desisted and/or declined to advance upon space in a position 180 degrees contrary to their current form of advancement, this is another question. You're asking? Well, they...

Of course, it's all fine and well, saying their bone structure and various aerodynamical nomenclature. This is how it appears. Ipso facto, etc. However, let's entertain the idea, that 100 years from now, all birds, well, maybe some, perhaps even one, will be propelled through the skies in a contradictory fashion to the one we're presently accustomed.

And if not, why not? Maybe, they're waiting for our help. In the same way that they gave us the idea of flight and we can now get to anywhere in the world for under £1000 (including all meals). Maybe now is the time to start helping birds realize they're dream of belly-to-the-fiery-birdseed physical motion.

Thus, closing our eyes, we can see the bird, in an upside down state of air propulsion.

Why should they, anyway? Do people walk upside down? Back to front? Inside out? And why the sudden fascination with birds? Where'd that come from?

Ok, so now I'm asking too many questions, even though you started this.

Didn't you?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Which of these is actually in production at the moment?

1. Gypsy - sitcom

Follow the colorful adventures of Rose and the other fun characters that comprise her band of fellow travellers.

2. Heavens above! - sitcom

A hapless mixed bunch comprising a college dropout, a middle manager, a computer programmer, a telesales worker, a farmer and a stripper join a new religion each week, with hilarious results.

Episode 1 = Catholicism
Episode 2 = Church of Scientology
Episode 3 = Islam
Episode 4 = Christian Fundamentalism
Episode 5 = Mormons
Episode 6 = Judaism
Episode 7 = Satanism
Episode 8 = Jainism

3. Stars behind Bars - game show

Members of the public are assigned a prominent celebrity and have to get them arrested. The contestants can do so by any means necessary! However, should they fail, they must pay the price for the same crime themselves.

4. How green is your house? - altered reality TV

A group of experts, each week assess different properties throughout the nation on the basis of how environmentally friendly they are. Weekly winners enter into the grand final where, in the final episode, they are melted down for protein and fed to battery farm hens in Vietnam. With hilarious results!

5. CSI: Brothel - drama

Crime Scene officers go undercover in various exotic sex dens throughout the world. Will they be able to get the results before they have to go down? Guest stars the former cast of ALF.

Monday, March 20, 2006

How can butterflies look so close-up creepy
but from afar they seem so dreamy?
and why does the sky give so many answers
but never seem to question at all?

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Bruce Sterling in fine form... things are a'moving

and just to make it 31% - spime!

Friday, March 17, 2006

unlucky is life unlucky is 13 unlucky is unlucky...


He was the carelessest man I ever see but he sure had the most sand


Doldrums are different today. The wind is everywhere and blowing fierce, twisted scratching, unnoticed corners blow whirlpools free of their shadow.
At sea, we get to eat sardines from a can and set all our thoughts beyond the horizon.
On land, we let them answer to drumlins and we roll our place against them.
Drums eat at hands and feet...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Where is he now?

We left him behind because he was ill. I saw a girl a week later, holding him in an awkward, uncaring way. We didn't hold him like that but then again, we didn't want a dog with a cold.

I've just heard that he's happy and working as an escalator operator at a top secret underground research facility, just outside of Ayr, Scotland.

A shabby dog story if ever there was one.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

If you want to understand how people get along, don't go to the jungle. Go to the internet?

Chatting last night with M, it occurred to me how much people still carry "old culture" behavioural patterns online, whether they realise this or not. M was talking about the differences between Asian and Western music forum users. Both groups seem to obversely display cultural caricatures - Japanese users of music forums, for instance, appear to be more interested in who is looking at their profiles than in actual discussion of music artists, as is the case in the West. This somehow fits with West/Ego individual expression and East/Id collectivist group harmony but of course, ain't ipso facto. This started me thinking about the rest of the online world and led me to thinking about the place of language within this.

It's easier to first state, that the internet is not homogenous. I'm not entirely sure why I need to state this, but somewhere in the light speed squared surge of internet growth, I believe this seemed to be the consensus opinion. The internet would eradicate barriers between countries and we could all eat Micky D's for free in Tian'anmen Square(d). Perhaps if anything, the net has an over-abundance of consumer-users (didn't they used to be called hunter-gatherers). In reality, most people who have access to the internet are more than likely reasonably well-heeled and in possession of a credit card and, with nothing better to do, looking at holidays, cars, trinkets, electronics, media and porn. Yes, they form the main bedrock of the net and express their netizenship through shopping and chatting. However, underlying this trend, don't they still express national/cultural traits.

But of course.

For what forms the bedrock of culture/civilization if not language, both written and oral.

All languages form their own internets? Insomuch as music has it's various idioms and distinctive groupings i.e: Classical; Hip-hop; Jazz; Rock; Folk - they use roughly the same mechanics of "talking" but produce different sounds/effects. Likewise for native languages, which in turn are expressed in the vernacular architecture which finds itself the foundations of these virtual continents.

What does this mean? I've no idea. It just seemed one of those blindingly obvious things, that springs up in the everyday and makes you wonder why you never thought it before,

and this seems to lead into...

The net-frenzy past few weeks, about the awakening of a "2nd Internet" in the form of sweet lovely China. This is purely on a technical basis, if it happens, as China is opting to switch over to it's own backbone rather than using the one that currently resides in the US. Uh-huh, as if this was never going to happen... oh sure, let's do lunch as well darling, just let me fix these rockets first... I like the idea though, of an "alternative" net; variety is the spice of life, ce n'est pas? And the obvious dystopic implications - The great harbinger of global communications that is/was the WWW (should now be read as World War W?) All the misty eyed cyber romanticists go to hell in a cable tie... A net "switch-on" as well to boot... Is there really a grubby wall switch somewhere behind a broken watercooler in a nondescript prefab Mid-West Nowheresville, that not even Mr. Bee Gee with his microzillion disposable softies can lay his calloused pinkies to? Or just more bodily implants gone wrong?
how much of this is racially motivated, I'm not sure... but maybe the cold war never died. It just got a facelift and changed it's name to Culture.

Monday, March 06, 2006



Friday, March 03, 2006

and just remember...

If yr thinking of flying into space this weekend,

the map is not the territory (but it's just as beautiful sometimes)

and needless to say,

space is still the place

Earth's orbit on new potato alert!

"Martian feet turn dirt and stone
For buried treasure human bone
Madison men tattoo ads on
Ten year olds with sucker pads
Rockets rust attack decay things
Fall apart while spacemen play"

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Anyway, dances lightly on a heavy fog of intent. Another room of snatching grains that prop souls work default. Wearing a smile that speaks to everyone except it's current user. A thumbs up, to three faces glancing or studied in the past. One sits with their back to the door. None apparently impressed by said tidings. There is no cause for alarm. Back-peddle.

Remember frowns. Hunched tense and absorbed. Intent on hearing a swollen heart buckle.

Q. Consider the ship's bow. Does a second mate look up and count the passing cloud when the horizon isn't blinking?

This eases aside and once more beckons,
"Through there, through there. You were as close as can be earlier, why you hesitatin' now, huh?

Are these deaf failings or is the sun just so tired to have woke up this early.

That was it. Not quite all but a step.
One of those brief flurries of insight. Nose spray for a heavy cold. Filling the last space on someone else's crossword. Thinking twice, one step away from abandoned mineshaft entrance.

They weren't setting off fireworks but then again, they never did when you spoke. Though you thought it tasted of wonder and you wanted to see eyes glow with truth and you'd wanted them to say,
"Yes, yes, you were right all along. Why'd we never listen to you?"

There was only an audio book sample. David Carradine's voice.
"What are you doing in Denver?"

A rope ladder spinning and the letters mangled to a fine pulp oozing breath and not having those fine sweet fibres all running down your back. Whispering,
"It's okay, yeah okay. You'll always be with us."

Anyway, no signs of being frightened by any of this asks you,


That's you. Go ahead and answer.