A game show took place in my bed the other night and I was to remain a lone mute spectator throughout. Anything else would have been considered, and quite rightly so, debasing and impertinent. The contestants, aligned in a formation not unknown to those who partake of fractal line-dancing, reveled in sweltering detail, how they had each in turn managed to stay so healthy, vital and good-looking. Relating their strict, almost to the point of barbarian, diet and workout regimes; alcohol, smoking, caffeine, apathy and self-neglect were attested to by all in varying degrees, as a veritable cocktail immortalis. The show failed to expand any further beyond this point, as the contestants digressed beyond the point of objective sub-atomic level.

Nonetheless, truly they were radiant life forms, uncontesting of cultural difference and species dominance, and ready to yield at the merest hint of a dropping hat, to the beneficial needs of their fellow simians.

Altogether, I found myself a trifle startled, almost pleasingly bemused. However, with regards the where, the whence and the why, I could muster nothing other than a faint and breathless... 'crumbs'.